LGBTQ+ FAMILY PLANNING WITH DONOR SPERM
Direct, open, and respectful communication is key.
It is important to talk through preferences and expectations in advance of making a final decision about whether to proceed. A consultation with an experienced mental health professional specializing in family building through third party assistance can be helpful.
In accordance with the American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM) guidelines, some fertility clinics require such a consultation prior to fertility treatment with third party assistance, particularly in the case of directed donation (or gestational surrogacy).
Important topics to discuss and make sure both parties are in alignment with include:
Any anticipated (or hoped for) changes in the nature of the relationship or frequency of contact between the two parties as a result of the donation The anticipated (or hoped for) role the donor will play in the resulting child’s life (i.e. aunt/uncle-like figure, close family friend, mentor, etc.) Clarity around the donor not having any parental role (including rights, responsibilities, or parental decision- making) in relation to the child Disclosure to the child- will the child be informed about his/her donor conception and the identity of the donor (this is recommended); if so, how, when, and by whom? To mutual friends or family- the parties should agree upon with whom the information about the child’s donor conception and the donor’s identity be shared, as well as how, when, and by whom
To others, including social media
How many children the donor is comfortable with his sperm being used
In the case of IVF, the possibility that more embryos may be created than you choose to use for your own family building and how decisions will be made about any remaining embryos
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