SINGLE MOM BY CHOICE
There may come a time when your child asks whether they have a father or asks why they don’t have a father.
This is an opportunity to explain that there are different ways to build a family and that families come in “all different shapes and sizes,” --but that regardless of the composition, it is love is that makes and shapes a family.
If there are extended family members or people who are part of your and your child’s “chosen family,” you can remind your child that these people too are part of what makes up their family.
Your child may ask whether the sperm donor is their father. You can explain that while the donor provided some of the genetic material (or one of the “building blocks”) to help create them---an important contribution to be sure---a donor is not the same thing as a parent. A parent is someone who nurtures, guides, and cares for a child as they grow. It is also important to consider the possibility that your future child may someday express a desire to connect with their sperm donor. While this prospect may raise questions and complicated emotions, it is essential to respond with thoughtfulness and sensitivity. A child’s curiosity about their genetic heritage is a natural part of their identity exploration. Creating a safe space for conversations about this and other aspects of their origins can foster understanding and help them understand their feelings. Helping facilitate potential contact in the future with the donor can be a way to honor your child’s journey of self- discovery.
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